Belief in one’s own power is the platform on which the success of man in life is based. How to believe in yourself and your forces – a similar question is often asked by people who turned for help to a psychologist.
However, there are no universal rules and methods in this matter – because each person is unique and it is required to find an individual way of gaining confidence. Someone is assisted by a family – parents, grandmothers, to “stand firmly on their feet.” Someone else can not do without qualified help from a doctor. However, the effort is worth it – after believing in one’s own strength, a person is literally ready to “roll mountains”.
Let us deal with you, why a person ceases to believe in himself, becomes shy and shy, and then we will learn to overcome this problem, we will make the basic steps on the way to success.
The main causes of unbelief in yourself
Before you understand how to help people believe in themselves, it is required to find out why he has lost “firm ground under his feet.” As a rule, the causes of insecurity in themselves are:
- The environment of a person – if in the family or the team every day it is said that there is no talent, and the hands “do not grow from there,” then the child also grows up as a “gray mouse”, unsure of himself as an adult. As a rule, often enough to prove something and after graduation, the receipt of a new job. It’s good if a true friend or relative leads a life. But this is rare.
- Constant comparison of oneself with others is a fairly common reason for the formation of disbelief in one’s own abilities and possibilities. Even from infancy, a child can hear that other children are better in something or have special talents in something. The inferiority complex then lasts a lifetime, if you do not fight it. Too frequent comparison will lead to a significant decrease in self-esteem, the formation of uncertainty in their own abilities.
- Failures and failures in the past. Perfect people do not exist, and everyone can make a mistake. Simply, if one constantly fears the new due to the once wrong step, the actions, then the number of failures will only multiply. However, if you analyze your mistake and understand what it was, in the future the person will not make it any more. And success will only consolidate self-confidence.
However, unbelief in yourself can have other causes. For example, the syndrome of chronic fatigue, when physical and intellectual fatigue drains all the strength of a person. Because of this, all events taking place with him are considered exclusively from a negative point of view.
Manifestations of women’s self-doubt
In glossy women’s magazines are often posted articles, how to believe in yourself and succeed. In the depths of the soul, almost every representative of the beautiful half of humanity doubts themselves, their attractiveness or success with the opposite sex. It is because of this uncertainty and there are various problems in your personal life or in a team. However, they can and must be fought with.
In severe cases, for example, when a woman is depressed, she simply does not know how to make herself believe in herself. And no assurances of friends and relatives will not help her. We need constant meetings with a psychotherapist to work out all internal complexes. Only in this case it will be possible to defeat depression and develop in oneself confidence in the ability to overcome difficulties. Gradually, a woman regains faith in herself.
Or another situation that young women have to face is the persistent chauvinism of men in their professional activities. And in the progressive XXI century, many representatives of the strong half of humanity believe that the place of women exclusively in the kitchen and in the hospital. They suppress the personality of a woman, make them lose confidence both intellectually and physically.
If a woman does not succumb to small tricks and “podsizhivam” of male colleagues, they resort to other measures. For example, emphasize the non-sexuality of women, make fun of the manner to dress, impose make-up.
In such situations, psychologists recommend immediately putting men – relatives or colleagues in place.
A few recommendations, how to believe in yourself and gain confidence:
- accept themselves as nature created – with all the shortcomings and virtues;
- clearly understand their strengths and demonstrate them, while small errors “retouch”;
- literally “by heart” to know their job duties, constantly improve in the profession, thereby giving self-confidence – a highly qualified specialist will always be in demand, even in those areas where the “primordially” men are.
Women have proven over the centuries that they can compete successfully with men in many spheres of life, while not losing their female attractiveness. Therefore, the main thing is to believe in yourself and your own uniqueness, attractiveness and intelligence. Then the people around will see only what the woman wants to demonstrate, not her weakness and disbelief.
Faith of men in themselves
Since time immemorial, men have dominated in most social spheres, then the question of their self-confidence seems especially urgent. However, not everyone can demonstrate their superiority to others from childhood. If the boy was even once made comments in excess weight, weakness in the lesson of physical education or excessive angularity, then such statements can permanently undermine his faith in himself. Especially if such “comments” were made in the presence of girls or another person significant to the child.
The boy grows into a young man with huge internal complexes that can not always be overcome independently, for example, due to the development of physical strength or intelligence. A huge role in the correct education of a confident personality is played, of course, by the family. If the parents are even telling the weakest physically or intellectually that the baby is the best and the beloved, the full member of the society will necessarily grow out of it. In the adult state, he will be firmly confident in his abilities.
Choosing the right partner for life also plays an important role. If a woman constantly says that her husband is a loser and brings little money to the family, then, in the end, he really believes in it. While support in the most risky endeavors, will inspire the man and make him improve further, confidently go to his own dream.
How to live and believe in yourself
Sometimes the situation develops in such a way that it seems to the person that nothing depends on him, the troubles are pouring from the “box of Pandora” and it is not possible to cope with it. However, one should not despair, in this case, a few tips on how to believe in yourself, when your hands fall, will be exactly appropriate, help solve seemingly insoluble issues.
So, you need:
- To perceive life as it is is not worth embellishing, but one can not create in oneself a lack of faith in joy and love or anhedonia. If you prepare yourself for daily difficulties and misfortunes, they will indeed happen. After all, it is practically a proven fact that people’s thoughts are material. Psychotherapists recommend that each problem be decomposed into component parts – each of which becomes smaller, and therefore easier to solve. And having solved one task and believing that everything will turn out, really, it will be possible to cope with the problem as a whole.
- Do not compare with those who are higher in social status or material wealth, but with people who are equal in these criteria. Then your own life will seem quite prosperous and even successful.
- In the memories that periodically appear in any person, try to return to positive moments and events. Then, as negative events try to force out of memory or hide “on a distant shelf”, delete it in the “brain archive”. Pleasant memories will improve the mood, and this, in turn, will have a positive impact on your entire life.
- Really evaluate their own strengths and capabilities. Do not chase a million in a lottery, and day after day build your life from the bricks of really possible actions. Then the result will be seen clearly. It is not necessary to be hovering somewhere in the distant future, when food may not be enough.
Self-reliance is everyday work on a person, a long journey into millions of small steps. And only after overcoming difficulties and getting reward for it, a person will be sure that everything is in his power.
What you need to do to believe in yourself
Undoubtedly, in all cases it is not possible to develop in oneself an “iron” self-confidence and in one’s own strength, as in a “staunch tin soldier”, which never gives up. However, to conduct a purposeful work to educate such confidence in themselves, everyone can.
So, someone can help a list composed of the available positive and negative qualities. It is better, if such a list will be made not only by a person unsure of himself, but also by his relatives, friends. Their comparison and evaluation will provide a clearer picture of all the strengths and weaknesses. And only after that it will be possible to make a plan, how to emphasize the first of them, and adjust the second. Moreover, the emphasis should be made, mainly on the strengths, to develop them, to emphasize, well, and the weak – you just need to know and not “stick out”.
For example, if someone at work has authoritatively stated about a mistake in the report, immediately recover and focus on the merits – early work done, its huge volume, the lack of additional assistance in its implementation. Such gestures will promote the growth of prestige among colleagues.
In general, the team is better to communicate more often with those people who are of interest in a professional and personal plan, from whom you can learn something new for yourself, learn something. Then there will be more support, and the lack of stress will positively affect the productivity of labor.
If the error is still committed, do not focus on failure, and then try to fix it all. It is also highly regarded by the authorities.
Another effective method is how to get a man to believe in himself, or a representative of a fine part of the population – to improve his appearance in combination with attending training courses. A new stylish modern appearance and additional information obtained will contribute to gaining confidence, supported by a positive evaluation from the outside.
In the event that all the above recommendations do not give a tangible result – a person remains, still timid and insecure, then he needs the qualified help of a psychologist or psychotherapist, working with a trainer specializing in personal and professional growth.
In individual or group conversations, it will be established that it has served to form an uncertain personality, what are the origins of the problem. Only having found out and having understood them, it will be possible to take steps on overcoming a problem.
To date, many techniques have been developed – trainings and seminars that help to become confident and psychologically strong personalities. Optimal schemes of occupational therapy are selected individually. For example, a specialist to set a specific task, which is quite possible for a timid person, suggests several areas in which you can act. In the next lesson, a person is told what they did and what did not.
This is how – step by step, uncertainty and shyness are overcome, a habit of fighting life with troubles is developed.
Almost any complex lends itself to psycho-correction. The main thing – in a timely manner, want to cope with it and seek help.
Picture Credit: Alexas_Fotos